I seriously do not noe wat to type here to vent out all these freakin negativity in miie but all I noe is dat I jus wanna rant! :((

I wish I was more intelligent.. I wish miie brain is a bottomless pit wif no max capacity.. N more importantly, I wish I could live up to miie expectations! :(

At this rate, I m really going nowhere but walking backwards.. A total irony dat when I actually applied more force to resist, the force pulling miie bak jus gets stronger.. =.= T T

When I can't even make the 1st step w/o falling, how am I eva going to walk? T T

I swear I m working miself 2 the extent I nv did b4.. N yet the force is stil strong enuf to make miie fall.. Isn't this lv of hard wrk enuf? Muz I really wrk till the bone-breaking extent?

I guess so.. If I m such a god damn retard.. =.= T T

I guess.. Retards r retards.. A leopard nv changes its spots n so a retard would owaes b a retard.. :(

Jus lyk a retard who took the wrong gamble n made the wrong choice.. If the end result is going to be the same anyway, y does it matter abt the effort put in? It only results in agony.. Prolonged agony.. =.= T T

I guess the retard would forever b a retard.. Hopes do not always result in reality..

I really freaking hate miie sucking life! :(

2dae was sports dae.. N I showed up for such an event (rare case I noe..).. Haha.. I m being a gd student this yr ok! Haha.. :P There's one thing dat discounted this fact though.. I was late again.. Lol! =X Well.. Didn't feel the need to turn in early the nite b4 n didn't need the incentive to rush to sch since I was lyk, 'Its only sports dae..' Lol! At least I wasn't marked down for being late.. Lucky me.. Haha.. :D

Couldn't stand the heat and didn't find the races intriguing to watch so I jus went off 2 the lt to play the piano aft 10 mins of reporting.. =X N who noes, great myns tink alike n there were many ppl comin in later on to play the piano too.. =.= T T N so we took turns to 'perform'.. N I muz sae dat sum ppl r really well beyond the norm.. It was a really eye-opening exp for miie.. Haha..

Finally decided to settle down n study which was the initial motive of coming to sch.. Huishan wanted to study n I didn't really fel lyk it but being the gd fren I owaes m, I decided to acc her.. Lol! :P Tried to study a lil b4 she stood down from her duty as an official in the sports meet but I ended up eating non-stop.. =X I said I felt lyk havin a picnic in sch dat dae.. Didn't I? N trust miie, I really brought stuff to eat.. =X

N as a result, I felt freakin full in the stomach n began to get really groggy in the head.. N study time became nap time.. Lol! =X In a total of lyk 2 hrs while waiting for her, I only managed to complete 2 qns in which half the time was spent sleeping.. Slept and woke up 2 do abit of qns a total of 3 times throughout the whole period of 2hrs.. Tok abt being lazy.. Lol! =X

N somehow, when huishan came together with fengquan, I became more energetic and awake.. Lol! Guess I m easily influenced.. Haha.. =X Studied till abt 6 b4 we went home.. Won't sae it was exactly productive, but at least the later half was more productive den miie studying by miself.. Haha.. =X

N tml's gonna b a long dae.. Going to nus open hse (maybe ntu's too) tml wif the gals n mitting Jus to hav b-dae dinner at bugis later on.. Anyways, not sure if u would b reading this, but

Got bak mt a lv results a few hrs ago.. N I would hav to sae dat although I was initially apathetic abt it, I was unable to control miie joy wen I saw miie results.. =X Sry to all if I hav affected u in one way or the other thru miie actions.. =X

Mayb it isn't a grade really worth 2 b joyful abt for sum, bt it really meant alot to miie as dat was wat I was aimin 4 initially until I started to lower miie expectations.. =X N given only a pass for oral n the amt of effort put in, I m really really happy.. =X A far improvement from a 'D' to a 'B' tho miie oral deteriorated.. =X (Shud able to reveal ex results now dat it really is history.. Haha.. =X)

Maybe I shud really learn to control mie emotions better n not show em at the top of miie head.. =.= T T I noe I hav an eq of a retard.. :( Sry to all once again if I affected any of u.. It was really unintentional.. :(

N on a darker note, I m beginning to worry for a lvs upon seeing clique n the others getting their results.. Its seriously so unpredictable.. One's grade can really jump or dip lyk craziie altho they are usually consistent.. T T Which means 1001 possibilities for a lv results nxt yr.. Urgggh! Really starting to feel the tinge n stress again! =.= T T I hav alrdy been pre-warned 3 yrs bak when I got bak miie o lv results by mom.. She had warned miie dat it was gonna b hard wrk n it was gonna b competitive.. She even advised against going to a jc if I was not rdy to face the challenge.. I believed her, bt didn't take her words at face value as I tot she exaggerated a lil.. =.= T T

Decided I was rdy to face the stress n challenges dat come wif taking a lvs n so I opted for a jc.. N now I m so unsure of miself even after retention n the change of subject combination n all.. =.= T T Maybe mothers stil noe their child best aft all.. Maybe I m really not cut-out for a jc.. Maybe I should hav opted for a poly course.. =.= T T

Whatever crap.. I guess I m stuck wif this path now n hav to continue it by hook or by crook.. =.= T T Guess all I can do is hope for the best n continue to put in lots of hard wrk.. =.= T T

P.S. Ok not emo'ing here.. Jus penning miie tots down.. I m stil happiie for miie chinese results ya? N sry to whoever I may hav offended jus now.. :(

Had 2.4km run during pe 2dae n I muz sae I m really surprised on the effects of how weekly runs can greatly improve one's timing.. Haha.. Taste of success is indeed sweet! :D However, this is was at the expense of miie poor knee though.. Its aching lyk mad now.. (probably due to exertion of force on the wrong parts of my leg when running..) =.= T T

N things r starting to look up (at least for now) n I hope it lasts ya.. Haha.. Finally a mild taste of success! :)

Getting chinese results tml.. Dun expect much n I m feeling rather apathetic abt it.. N mitting dora n a few others of clique b4 the release of results tml.. It rawkz dat lessons end rather early! :D

Would b witnessing the 09' batch of j2's collecting their results too.. N the schedule's really weird.. Dun c how it can stretch till 4pm.. =.= T T

N I jus realised I didn't study much 2dae although there r lyk 2 tests nxt wk.. =.= Wasn't in the mood 2 do so n I bet I won't b in the mood tml either.. Had better do something soon! =X

Think I gotta get my plans 4 tml settled soon.. Everything seems to be tentative n unconfirmed.. =.= T T

Shall stop here now n once again, best of luck to all taking a lv results tml! :D

Its quite long since I updated as I wasn't in the mood 2 do so but I give miie assurance dat I m perfectly fine n I m stil alive n kickin.. Haha..

Las week was actually a dip in the emotional roller coaster for mi but I m back up again! :D

Clique n many others getting results this fri! Feelin so worried for em as though I m the one who is receiving the results.. (I m getting back mi results for mt though.. Dun expect 2 do any better or maybe do even worse coz of the amt of effort put in.. =X) It feels as if I would be receiving sum kind of reflection on how I would do if I had promoted dat very yr.. Haha.. Anyway, best of luck ppl! N dun b too discouraged if u didn't do well.. There r stil many alternatives ya? Jus do not giv up n u ppl would b able to make it! :D (Personal quote from wat I experienced the past week.. ) Haha..

N I can't wait to mit 08A04'ians to play at the playground this fri! Ok.. Sounds kind of childish but watever.. Lol! Jannah muz hav been taken aback this aftnoon (technically las aftnoon since its alrdy 12..) when I responded a lil too enthusiastically.. Well.. I muz sae its totally different from my usually passive self.. Guess we only learn to treasure stuff when we lose it.. Haha.. (N I stil dun really learn now either.. =X)

N I promise, I swear, I will upload pictures soon.. I noe dat they r long overdue.. Haha.. =X

N once again good luck to all this fri! :D